The facebook status that I want to post... aka What I really want to say to people who ask intimate details about my pregnancy and the upcoming delivery of our child.
"Friends and family! As we anxiously wait for Baby Suehr, I want to remind you that Chris and I are actually pretty private people! Please don't expect instantaneous photographic evidence when Fetus arrives. You will be disappointed, and we won't give a damn. Please don't expect to be notified when we go to the hospital. There are more important people in our lives than you who we will call, like our parents, siblings, and grandparents, none of which will be in attendance at the hospital anyways, so why should you get to know anything more than them? You shouldn't. This is a terribly exciting thing... and we understand your curiosity and enthusiasm, believe me, because WE are the ones actually going through this. And the awesome, but frustrating thing about that? We have to wade through all of your opinions and openly expressed expectations (none of which we actually care about) as we try to navigate this for the first time ever! So, please respect our privacy and demonstrate some of the patience that well adjusted adults sometimes possess. We want to share our baby with you all, trust me... only after Fetus has had the chance to be met and snuggled by Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. Thank you!"