So much time has passed, and that was never the intention when I initially created this blog. I wanted there to be more continuity in relating my life so that I might have a place to look back and reflect. I guess its a good thing that life has gotten in the way. But I also find that frustrating. If I don't have the time to keep track of what I am up to or what I am thinking about, then am I giving myself any time to sit and reflect... at all? I like the forced habit of sitting and thinking about things. I find myself every now and then thinking "oh man, this would be a great thing for me to write about", but that doesn't happen.
Like one day I was pugging in the studio and thinking about having more of a blue collar work ethic. I don't mind doing grunt work and I wish I knew how to approach a field where I could work and leave it at work and come home and dive into something else... entirely. I come home now and edit photographs of the work I just left in the studio, or look at books of other things people have made, or search the internet and gather my visual source material for the things I am working on. I am evaluating my work too much in my free time, and it is exhausting.
I sat down at my computer because I wanted to express how much I love libraries. I am in the library at Hood right now, sitting in their oh-so-comfortable black wooden chairs. If I could take one with me when I completed this certificate I would... they are the right angle, height, and everything else. But in my life, seating is one thing Chris and I have no shortage of. So I am sitting here in my black chair at one of those private little study desks with the divider so that the person on the other side can't distract me. I love it. I want one of these things for my own life... It is like setting up a little quiet nook that eliminates the rest of the world and lets me get down to doing what needs to be done. Today? It is weird to think that I need to look at library books. How many people go about their lives not caring about looking at the books they have access to? I checked a stack of books out of the incredible art/sociology/historical section of the library a month ago, and they are due today. I looked at one of the nine in the month they sat in my living room. The girl at the desk looked at me like I was weird for wanting to hold on to the other eight to look at them before I left them at the desk. But I need to look at them. I kept them from other people for a month... a month! They are incredible books about western American Indians and Barbara Hepworth and some other sweet little book about touching art. Drool. So I feel compelled to appreciate what is in the pages before I hand them back over. Maybe nothing will stick with me, but hopefully some gem will.